Sad But True

Today all I wanted for lunch was a chocolate cookie milkshake from Zaxby’s. It’s sad but true. Not even a salad with a milkshake for dessert. I just wanted the chocolate milkshake with those cookie pieces all chopped and mixed in for a decadent, ridiculously non-nutritive lunch. Granted I’ve only had two of those in my life, but there are certain days in a woman’s life where she especially craves satisfyingly unhealthy comfort food. Unfortunately, I was told Zaxby’s no longer serves milkshakes at all. So I settled for a sad little oatmeal raisin cookie.

This all came after an immensely unproductive morning of wanting to Rip Van Winkle the day away. The kids are back at school, the hubs is back to teaching, and I have a few more days before I start attending my tutoring sessions. The novelty of the new kid school year has worn off and yet the newness of the fresh academic year leaves me scrambling to figure out which extra-curricular activity has resumed for the fall. Piano – yes; dance class – no. But where is my groove? At night I brush my teeth as I rattle off in my mind the main tasks I need to accomplish the next day. The next day I wake up and immediately try to weasel my way out of my list of tasks. What is wrong with my brain?! I feel like my body is in competition with itself. Somehow at night I’m all invigorated to knock out some chores or some paper work, but by morning my mind is like “whoa, let’s sit down on the sofa with some coffee to wake up first…and then maybe just save your energy. Yeah that’s it. Relax and save your energy; you might need it later.” Right, like for when I brush my teeth again at night and have all the energy to re-write my mental list that I’m so confident I can knock out the next day until my Morning Self says, “not right this second.”

I’m not entirely sure why I have such a reaction to the new shift of the school season since I’m not actually going to school… or maybe that is exactly why. Everyone else is off to school and jobs and I’m left to my own devices to get myself through the day productively! I sent a text to a friend: “How’s it going for you? This school year has me in a funk!” She responded with a call and informed me that her child didn’t make it to school on time this morning. Lisa woke up fine, but a spilled bowl of cereal sent her sulking to her room where she was found crying on her bed, stubborn as a rock about not wanting to go to school. See – it must not be just me that has a difficult adjustment period to a new routine!

My main job this year is to study for and pass the Spanish certification test for teachers. Studying is not as much fun at age 40 as it was at age 20 with an apartment full of friends and “study buddies,” where a five-hour study session was more like a four hour Girls’ Nite In with short bursts of studying interspersed. So my daily big decisions are “Which book do I study from today? Should I study at home or at Jittery Joe’s? Breakfast first, then study; or exercise first, then study?” So far today I have managed: unintentional nap, breakfast first, and a short study burst (gladly) interrupted by a phone conversation.

It’s a good thing I had a cookie for lunch. That should power me through my next study window. But first, another cup of coffee.

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